Anonymous asked: which paint do u use for ur drawings
I use watercolour paints. Nothing really that fancy, I don’t even remember the brands, I mostly just pick the tubes that are on sale. I also have one sort of fancy, kind of expensive, watercolour brush. I think the brush is the most important part of watercolour painting. I took a watercolour class once with a group of old ladies and the teacher didn’t like me because I wasn’t painting the landscapes the proper colours, and she thought I used too much pink (yeah no shit). She did teach me that having one good brush was crucial. Then again, sometimes, when I don’t have my brushes with me, I’ll use paper towels or whatever I can find to spread the paint around. So if you’re looking for the best materials, just do the best with what you can get your hands on.
(see all the materials I use here in my FAQ).
Thanks for your question <3
Anonymous asked: do you give advice and help to people? just wondering. xx
Well, I try to give advice, and I hope that sometimes my advice helps people. However, I have no actual training that qualifies me to give advice, other than the fact that I’ve made a millions mistakes in my life, and I love blabbing about them to strangers on tumblr.
So if that’s what you’re into, then by all means, share your sorrows and I’ll draw them for you.<3
chasingsatellites asked: Wowee! You are quite something. Amazing thoughts and drawings : ) Jess
Thank you very much!! <3
“Being taken seriously means missing out on the chance to be frivolous, promiscuous, and irrelevant. The desire to be taken seriously is precisely what compels people to follow the tried and true paths of knowledge production around which I would like to map a few detours.”
― J. Jack Halberstam, The Queer Art of Failure
leila-ghaz asked: I find that i am my own worst enemy, my anxiety and inner tells me i cant do it and i will fail in exams and life, so when people tell me to "think positive" i cant because i wont let myself get my hopes up, long story short i think that your art really touches a nerve that some art just doesn't. You get it that it is hard but it will get less hard over time and help me to realise that grades wont define me,I want to thank u for putting ur positive, constructive energy on here and helping :) xox
I just had a discussion with a loved one today about the idea of thinking positively. He was telling me to be more positive, and I began to wonder if perhaps there was a different, more sustainable approach to overcoming failure.
On one hand, I try my best to think positive and not be a Debbie Downer, because I think that people that are always negative are never able to see the positive in anything, which in turn sustains their negativity. In other words, no matter what happens, these people are miserable. I know too many people like that, and I don’t want to be like these people.
On the other hand, as someone who puts a lot of pressure on herself and who considers disappointment to be one of the worst feelings ever, I sometimes wonder if thinking positively, and therefore being confident that the best possible outcome will occur, can make the disappointment worst when things don’t go as planned. It is that fine line between being positive and getting your hopes up too high, that is tricky to navigate.
The problem with the “think positive” approach is that it doesn’t prepare people for failure. Learning to live with failure is the hard part, it is something I still struggle with. My instinct has often been to try to hide or deny my failures, to take every mistake and rejection letter and dismiss it or pretend I don’t care or pretend it never happened. The problem with that approach is that even if you burn all the evidence, the failure doesn’t really go away. It stays with you, mocks you and consumes you. What works better is to give yourself room to fail, and room to grow. By that I mean, when you fail, allow yourself to be sad about it, like I mean REALLY sad: cry, breakdown, sob all over your BFF or your mom, spend an entire day watching Veronica Mars and eating ice cream on the couch. Whatever you need to do, just do it. Then, sleep it off, and when you have your energy back, try again. Keep trying and trying, and if you keep failing, then try something different, change your plans, change your mind, and keep rooting for yourself. And when you are getting anxious over the possibility of future failure, just remember that even if things don’t go as planned, you’ll be ok, you’ll find a plan B or a plan C or an entire alphabet of different plans, that may end up being better than plan A anyway.
Thank you for all your kind words, the next drawing I post is for you <3
“I find I am constantly being encouraged to pluck out some one aspect of myself and present this as the meaningful whole, eclipsing or denying the other parts of self.”
― Audre Lorde, Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches
Anonymous asked: I feel like all i do is fall all over boys. It feels like they're my hobby. Like i need a new person to be with just to feel content. I hate it. I wish I could just be happy with not having anyone. I want to be able to enjoy not having the burden of a boyfriend. Boys are like my craze or my addiction and I love them so so much but it's becoming unhealthy .. What am I supposed to do? -that girl with big brown eyes
Dear brown eyed girl,
I think that while some people use drugs or alcohol as an escape from reality, other people use romance. I know that I have done that in the past, I have used my investment in boys, my crazy crushes and need for romance as a way to avoid facing the things in my life that weren’t going the way I wanted them to. So all this energy I spend focusing on another person, makes it easier for me to forget about myself and gives me a good excuse not to deal with the personal things I should be dealing with.
I think it’s really important that you have been able to identify your pattern of hiding behind your boy craziness. Relationships can be really great, and when you are in a relationship with a person who is a good match for you, it is possible not to completely lose yourself in someone else. It is even possible to become a better version of yourself with the help of someone else. You just have to remember that being a couple doesn’t mean you both should become two halves of a whole. That’s just baloney that sappy romantics invented. In the best couples, both people remain whole and help themselves grow.
But before you get there, it’s also important to learn to be comfortable being by yourself. So next time you feel like you are falling into your habit of hiding behind boys, stop and do the opposite. Do something for yourself instead. Do that thing you’ve been meaning to do, that thing you’ve been avoiding because you’re scared. Even if that thing is just spending a little time alone with yourself.
The next drawing I post is for you <3
“The gendered entitlement of criminals – rapists, domestic abusers, murderers – is almost always universally condemned as unacceptable throughout polite society (at least in 2014), as is the era of dowries and legal spousal rape, when women were considered the literal property of the men in their lives. But those men whose actions exhibit in softer – sometimes even socially acceptable – ways their belief that women should pay them deference (or at least quietly tolerate their varied hostilities) face much less opprobrium.
This is how men get away with bludgeoning the joy that is friendship into the unrecognizable “friendzone” – a place where it’s actually humiliating to be friends with a woman. ”
- Men aren’t entitled to women’s time or affection. But it’s a hard lesson to learn, by Cord Jefferson
Anonymous asked: I just found out that one of my best friends growing up has been saying a lot of rude things about my as well as telling people things about me that I told her in confidence. I want to confront her and let her know how hurt I am, but I don't want to make a big deal about it or make her angry in any way. She's really upset me and I don't really want to be friends with her anymore. What do you think I should do?
Friendship can be a really complicated thing. Jealousies, insecurities and pettiness can get in the way of the best friendships without any warning at all. Maybe that’s what happened with your friends. Maybe not. Maybe you’ll never really know. The thing you do know is that your friend decided to go behind your back and betray you, instead of talking to you herself if she had a problem with you. People who do that are often so insecure that it makes them cruel, and sometimes that cruelty makes it hard to confront them. If you feel like talking to her is just going to make you feel more upset, and if you are certain that you do not want to continue the friendship, then my advice is to just walk away. While I generally tend to advise people to talk things through before they cut people out of their lives, what I have learned the hard way is that sometimes there are people that you just need to let go of for your own self-preservation. You don’t have to feel guilty for letting go of a bad friend.
The next drawing I post is for you <3
pixieneverland asked: Gosh, I want to reblog you're entire blog, everything is perfect :)
Reblog all you want!! I love every single one of you amazing multiple rebloggers!! <3
piquantness asked: your drawings are amazing and inspirational. exactly what i needed today. thanks xx
Thank you so much! So happy to hear the drawings brightened your day! <3
rest-easy asked: In regards to being honked at and told to smile - that's the most annoying shit ever and it's not helpful and anyone who thinks it's helpful is a fucking moron. Also, if a woman honked at me and was like "smile!" i'd assume she was trying to get a rise out of me or just being a shit and it'd piss me off more. Main point is screaming out your car window at someone is never helpful or a good idea. End of.
I totally understand your frustration and your anger. As I stated in my previous posts all the car honking and catcalls are exhausting, threatening and insulting. They aren’t kind, or helpful, they are ignorant and ridiculous. The whole rhetoric of: ” if it was a woman doing this and that, you wouldn’t react the same way….” is the most enraging thing on the planet. Like no shit Sherlock, genders make a difference in situations, equality does not mean everyone should act the same (the same = like men). It means that we should all have equal value, especially when we are different!!
It’s all completely enraging, but just because they are honking at us to smile, doesn’t mean that anger has to be our only reply. We can still smile and laugh on our own terms, for your own reasons. It must be said that feminists are some of the funniest people out there.
The next drawing I post is for you <3